The core of a successful coaching relationship is a bond of mutual trust. Both coach and client need to trust one another in order to openly and honestly explore both existing and potential new emotions, thought patterns and behaviors.

What made a safe environment possible was to talk about where it had not been safe, at all, up to that point.  It takes courage, conviction, and true commitment from leadership.  And it is very possible, and not all that complicated, once you choose to no longer tolerate a toxic environment.

Doing our best doesn’t mean being perfect. It means doing our best in the current situation at the current time in the current mind-frame with our current knowledge. By believing that everyone is doing their best, I can release myself from the situation and give every person the benefit of the doubt.

We train leaders to listen for others in a way that they are contributing to the success of the team, company, and customer. This doesn’t mean they have to agree with an opposing point of view. If we can get past the agreement part, we can listen for understanding and actually expand our perception and point of view. This could make all the difference in the outcome.

Clear and efficient communication begins with the speaker having a clear intention on what is to be said. 

THERE ARE BENEFITS TO BOTH PARTIES FROM LISTENING WELL:

• Higher productivity – problems solved faster with fewer duplicated efforts or heated arguments

• Increased trust – listening to individuals generates respect and trust

• Fewer mistakes – information received is more accurate

• Increased confidence – self-esteem goes up when we feel we are heard

One of our first exercises was to uncover my “core values,” which at first I thought would be more like “priorities” or “life roles.” No, I found out, everyone has values set so deep in them that it drives their lives. It’s not what we consider to be important; it’s what we know so deeply in our psyche that we expect everyone and everything to adhere.

Our calendars speak facts, and typically, our interpretation of what happened in the past year isn’t as accurate as the calendar.

What examples can you think of where a detail included or left out made the difference for you?

Before reacting emotionally, consider the probability that the individual does not intend to be combative. Most people are, in fact, honest and well-meaning. Look for positive intent from them and make sure you are communicating your own.

An update on a story of recovery by coffee brand Starbucks

Getting back to someone in a timely fashion is a matter of accountability and trust. Response time is critical in business.

How to Have Everyday Integrity:

1. Keep your promises even if it takes extra effort.

2. Go back to a store and pay for something you forgot to pay for.

3. Never betray a friend's trust even if you get in trouble.

4. Inform the cashier he gave you too much change back.

5. Do not gossip or talking badly about someone.

6. Remain true to your spouse or partner.

7. When in a serious relationship, don't keep secrets from each other.

8. Return money that you noticed someone dropped without expecting a reward.

9. Ignore someone's advice on how to cheat on your taxes and not get caught.

10. Do not let someone else take the blame for something you did.

11. If someone gives you confidential information, never tell anyone what you know.

12. When it is obvious to you a relationship is over, don't drag it out but discuss it openly.

IN ORDER FOR THE REAL SPIRIT OF “LEADING BY EXAMPLE” TO BE EFFECTIVE, IT SEEMS LIKE IT TAKES A LOT OF PATIENCE AND MATURITY.

If you wish to truly motivate your team to a higher level of performance, try going a little deeper than a blanket “thank you.”

We have stages in life that feel lower in physical and mental energy than others. Perhaps it’s a stage related to illness or stress.It seems logical that we would look at the cause, not the symptom, but what do we normally do?

WE LIVE IN A CULTURE OF BLAME.

This seems to be the rule and no longer the exception.

When did we become so afraid of accepting responsibility? I know for me personally, I used to hate making mistakes. And worse than that, I was getting in trouble for my mistakes. I’m not sure why…. because the consequences were never as bad as I imagined in my head. Nobody has ever expected perfection or loved me less because I make mistakes.

I may have gotten a little more coachable over the years, but my default in hearing feedback is not to listen, but instead listen to the voice in my head that says,

“I KNOW THIS ALREADY.”

In the workplace, trust is vital in many areas:

1. Employees trust that you will keep their personal information confidential, including discussions or actions related to that information.

2. Management and shareholders trust that financial data, proprietary information, trade secrets, processes and plans will not be shared with others unless agreed and/or required.

3. Management trusts that customers will pay for products and services delivered – and trust that they have recourse if that doesn’t happen in a timely manner.

4. Most importantly, it’s critical that your team trust you as a leader. You may demonstrate trustworthiness in many ways: respecting confidentiality, consistently evidencing ethical behavior, being accountable for your commitments and allowing the open and blameless exchange of ideas. If they trust you, they can follow you.

In relationships at work or at home, remember that assumptions remain in your own mind.  Explicit requests are spoken or written in detail. And most people will rise to the occasion if you give them the requirements and expectations.