The Unexpected Gift of Surrender
Photo from Caitlyn Rose Noll's recent ultrasound
When my fiancé (now husband) and I found out we were having a baby, we were equally surprised and excited. In that moment, we realized we weren't living according to our timeline, but a much greater one. All of the plans and ideas we were so sure about easily faded into the background as we stepped into this new adventure.
Up until that point, I thought I had mastered the art of surrender. Pretty quickly into this process, I understood I had barely touched the tip of the iceberg. One thing I know for sure is that this lesson will continue to expand and surprise me as I am cast into the throes of childbirth and parenthood.
Not long into this pregnancy, I had a pivotal realization: I am not the one in charge here. I never was.
There are a million baby books, articles, and TikTok videos advising on all the dos and don'ts of pregnancy, but at the end of the day, I am not the one growing this baby. I am simply a vessel for God's creation. My role is not to control the outcome, but to participate in the process with trust.
While I still do my best to care for myself and follow the guidance available to me, I've realized there are limits to what I can control. Once again, I find myself surrendering to a plan that is not my own. The more I let go, the more peace and inner safety I gain.
There have been moments when I've wanted certainty—a guarantee that everything will unfold exactly as I hope. Instead, I've been invited to trust one day at a time. That invitation has become one of the greatest gifts of this journey.
There's immense freedom in realizing this baby doesn't belong to me. She's coming here with her own purpose and mission. My job is to steward that process and give her all of the love I have to offer. The last thing I want to do is get in the way of that because I couldn't give up my need for control.
Surrendering to a greater plan has expanded and enhanced my experience of life exponentially more than anything I could have dreamed of. Whatever I had in mind doesn't hold a candle to what's currently unfolding. I would have missed it if I hadn't been open to being guided by something greater than myself.
Biologically and statistically speaking, our existence alone is proof that miracles exist. What would life look like if you remembered that each day was, in its own way, a miracle?
Learning to trust the unfolding,
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