The Gods of Guilt
Photo by Bhola shanker Katariya
“Everyone has a jury, inside.”
— Michael Connelly, The Gods of Guilt
In Connelly’s book, the Gods of Guilt are the jury. The jury inside is that internal conversation we have with ourselves. The Toltecs refer to this as “the Narrator”. That noisy little internal voice that is a continual stream of commentary judging and assessing what we are doing, the actions we take, and the ones we do not take. The commentary tends to be less than kind, and behavior follows beliefs.
This brings me to sin.
Interestingly, if you look at the origin of the word, the English — as did much of the Anglo-Saxon world — referred to it as illicit behavior, a violation of Divine Law, or more kindly, a fault. However, if you drop back a millennium to the Greeks, it simply meant “to miss the mark.”
Imagine life if we related to sin simply as, “Oops, I missed the mark on that one.”
But no, we relate to it in the more common sense as illicit behavior, wrongful or bad, and pretty much every religion addresses sinful behavior as requiring some form of repentance or paying some dues.
Jewish tradition — every year Jews celebrate Rosh Hashanah in September, their New Year. On the first day is Tashlich, a casting away of sins, mistakes, and regrets of the past year, followed by 10 days of introspection.
Catholics, of course, have confession.
In Islam, there is Tawbah — sincere repentance, a return to the “good path.”
In Hinduism, they practice Prayascitta — the expiation of sins, removal of guilt, and atonement.
Buddhists practice mindfulness, which I think of as “going in” and addressing undesirable behavior or thoughts.
Since I could not find anything that the other Christian religions do as a ritual of repentance, I think they just regret, maybe justify, and then pray to do better.
So, all in all, everyone is looking for a “do over.” I did not find anyone suggesting: learn from the mistake, clean up any mess, forgive yourself, and apply the learning.
What I noticed is that all of these practices, rituals, and processes illuminate that we did something bad, or more so, that “we are bad,” or guilty of sin. Whereas, if you go back to the original Greek origin, it simply meant we missed the mark. This seems a much healthier approach to our reactions to mistakes, poor judgment, or unproductive behavior.
Instead of repentance or atonement, suppose we developed a healthy practice of simply owning our mistake, identifying the lesson, making corrections, cleaning up any impact, and practicing self-forgiveness. That requires accountability — not shame — and a level of emotional intelligence that strengthens both personal growth and leadership capacity.
Of course, it is hard to forgive ourselves when we do not believe we deserve it.
I do appreciate that, for most of us, this requires a massive reconstruction of our orientation to life.
A shift from “we are bad” to “we are good or deserving, and sometimes we make mistakes.” Sometimes really big ones. Sometimes we are really cruel in our speaking or behavior toward others. Sometimes our greed overcomes our sense of decency. Sometimes we are just plain foolish.
If our tolerance of those things in others is modest, imagine what it is toward ourselves. Our fear of looking bad or being perceived as “less than” can produce some peculiar behaviors, especially in leadership and team environments where psychological safety and trust are fragile.
In the organizations we have worked in, those with higher levels of tolerance for mistakes and breakdowns outperformed — by a lot — those focused on who made the mistake, who is at fault, or who made someone look bad. Cultures that emphasize learning over blame build stronger teams, greater resilience, and long-term organizational performance.
Mistakes are developmental opportunities. Especially in organizations, to build bench strength and strengthen team effectiveness.
The greater our self-forgiveness grows, the greater our appreciation, understanding, and forgiveness of others grows. And that shift transforms relationships, leadership effectiveness, and culture.
The Gods of Guilt live within. As do the Gods of Charity, the Gods of self-appreciation, and most importantly, the Gods of Choice.
You have a choice about which voice you listen to.
It is all made up anyway, so give yourself a break.
You deserve it.
Cheers and Blessings,
Craig
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