The Day I Stopped Taking Everything So Seriously (And Found My Freedom)
Photo by Kindel Media
For most of my career, I was convinced that anxiety was my secret weapon.
If I worried enough, planned enough, and took everything seriously enough, I could prevent bad things from happening. I wore my intensity like armor.
It worked. Sort of. And it nearly cost me everything.
The anxiety took its toll on my mental, emotional, and physical health. It strained my relationships. It robbed me of joy and fulfillment. It robbed me of my freedom.
It took me a long time to realize something that now seems obvious: serious is not the same as important.
There are many things I consider important—things I want to give my best effort to. But that doesn’t mean I need to be serious about them.
The Project That Haunted Me
There was a mine expansion project in Chile that I gave my heart and soul to.
For over eighteen months, I poured everything I had into that engagement. I believed in it. I cared deeply about the people and the outcomes. And because I cared so deeply, I pushed. Hard.
I pushed the client to commit to the engagement with an intensity that created friction. At the time, I thought pushing harder would help. It had the opposite effect. Eventually, the project ended for me, despite all my dedication and hard work.
I was devastated.
I must have anguished over it for months. And then, I'm a bit embarrassed to say—it followed me for years.
Every time I felt I was pushing too hard or being awkward in a client interaction, that Chile project would surface. I would question myself. The anxiety I thought protected me was now making me uncomfortable in my own skin. And that discomfort radiated outward, making others uncomfortable too.
The Slow Awakening
There was no single moment of clarity, just a gradual realization over a couple of years that my way of being was hurting me and everything I held dear.
I started to see that no matter how anxious I got, no matter how hard I tried to control outcomes, I couldn’t prevent issues from happening. They are simply part of life and work—especially in leadership and complex organizational environments.
In fact, I noticed something counterintuitive: the higher you reach, the more breakdowns you encounter.
This led me to a better question. Instead of asking, “How can I avoid breakdowns?” I started asking, “What can I commit to that is so worth it that I’m willing to deal with the unavoidable breakdowns?”
That shift changed everything.
Learning to Be Lighter
Work is a huge part of my life. I love what I do, and I am incredibly committed to it.
Sometimes it goes really well. Clients love the work, and we create real transformation together. But sometimes I rub somebody the wrong way, and it doesn’t go well.
I used to think that meant something about me. Over the years, I’ve learned that while it does have something to do with me, that’s not the only thing going on. Sometimes you simply don’t click with somebody. And that’s okay.
Today, I’ve let go of that Chile project. I understand that some engagements won’t go as well as I’d like. Hopefully not too many, but there will be some.
It doesn’t mean I don’t care. I care deeply. It just means I can’t control everything that happens around me, and trying to do so does no good.
The best I can do for my projects, my clients, and myself is to do my best—and let the rest be.
The Freedom in Lightness
Looking back now, I can see that project more clearly. I can see what I did that didn’t work and what I could do differently next time. That’s valuable learning.
But I can also see how much less serious it is in the big scheme of things than I made it at the time. One project. One difficult ending. Not a verdict on my worth or my future.
I’ve learned to be lighter about it all—both the successes and the “failures.” I’ve learned to take myself less seriously. I’ve learned to laugh more. At life. At myself. At the inevitable chaos that comes with doing meaningful work.
Because I’m deeply committed to my work, my clients, and myself, I don’t take things too seriously anymore.
They are important—but not serious. These are two very different things.
That might sound like a contradiction. For me, it’s the deepest form of freedom I’ve found.
~ Eduardo
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Fundamental of the Week #10: KEEP THINGS FUN
Our day-to-day work problems are small compared to those facing most of the world. Laugh every day; don’t take things too seriously.
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