The One Word That Builds—or Breaks—Trust
Photo by: Pavel Danilyuk
In my 20+ years of coaching, conversations with my clients could be described with many words: emotional, life-changing, money-making, valuable (I hope), inspirational, extraordinary, shocking, intimate, learning moments on both sides, intellectual, paradigm-shifting, and many others.
But one word is integral to them all: confidential.
From time to time, each of us doubts ourselves, each of us needs a reality check, and each of us is impacted by our blind spots. Having a coach or some sort of strategic partner can be very helpful, especially when we believe they will keep our sensitive information to themselves.
Yes, I’m making a case for hiring a coach, but it could actually be anyone who you really trust. This person should have no other interest than yours. Another great thing about having this relationship is that you have someone on your side who will challenge you.
Who do you have confidential conversations with? It’s most likely someone who won’t talk about it to others. Strangely, there have been some instances where I’ll be on a plane next to someone I don’t know, and it seems like a good idea to ask that random person for perspective on an intimate matter. It usually produces a response I needed to hear, and it’s essentially private. But mostly, I prefer to talk to my coach.
Our fundamental this week is RESPECT CONFIDENTIALITY. What I’m proposing is not only to respect it but also to practice it. Do you have any interest in being someone’s trusted advisor? If so, start practicing confidentiality. Stay away from gossipy situations and drama. Say less, listen more. One mouth, two ears kinda thing.
We coaches have other rules as well. Two of my favorites to break are to never talk about myself and to remember everything that every client says. I see so much of myself in my clients that I inevitably talk about myself as I find examples in my own life to pull from. Also, I take a ton of notes because my memory is not great. In fact, the opposite is true. I tend to have “professional amnesia”… which helps me be confidential. Practicing confidentiality is the number one rule in coaching. It’s a matter of integrity, and clients will withdraw their trust immediately if it’s broken.
What I want from you is two things:
Surround yourself with people you trust. Birds of a feather flock together, so find some birds who refuse to chirp your personal details to others.
Identify yourself as a person of integrity and confidentiality. Consider that your success and quality of life depend upon it.
If you choose to ignore my advice, don’t worry… I won’t tell.
~ Brett
Fundamental of the Week #16: RESPECT CONFIDENTIALITY
Honor the trust others give us. Be rigorous about safeguarding confidential information and be clear to other people about what should be kept in confidence.
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