Lessons in Judgment: Choosing Curiosity Over Criticism
Photo by Miriam Espacio
Recently, I prayed to be less judgmental. It’s something I believe most of us wrestle with, though few are willing to admit. And those who do sometimes wear it like a badge of self-righteousness: “I just tell it like it is,” or, “Well, my way of doing things IS better.” Judgment, after all, is part of human nature. What matters is not that it happens, but how we respond to it.
When I prayed about my judgment toward myself and others, something ironic happened: opportunities to judge started showing up everywhere. (No surprise there!) It appeared in my relationships, on the road while driving, and even in the workout class I look forward to every day.
As frustrating as that was, it turned out to be an incredible gift. It gave me the chance to pause, pay attention, and notice how judgment operates in my life. Here’s what I realized: responding to judgment with more judgment only keeps the cycle alive. It sounds obvious, but it’s so easy to miss in the moment. What made it insidious wasn’t the presence of judgment itself—it was the way I doubled down by judging myself for being judgmental. That cycle had quietly become a deeply ingrained pattern.
So I’ve been trying a new practice: every time a judgmental thought surfaces, I meet it with curiosity. I ask myself questions until the judgment neutralizes. And the most surprising result? I’ve learned so much more about people and situations I once thought I had figured out. Through this, I realized, the more I learn, the less I know. And honestly, that feels lighter, freer, and a lot more fun than always needing to be right.
Fundamental of the Week #18: PRACTICE BLAMELESS PROBLEM-SOLVING
Focus on finding a solution, not who is at fault; apply your creativity, spirit, and enthusiasm to developing solutions. Then, identify lessons learned and use those lessons to improve processes and strengthen relationships.
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