A Deal Made With Love
Photo by Brett Morris
I made a deal with you.
The deal was if you were born conveniently, that someday … I would die conveniently. So, about 17 years ago, one Sunday morning in November, your mom woke up feeling a little different in her belly. After we had our coffee, we got in the car and got on our way to an acupuncturist who was going to help you into this world. We had barely gotten out of our neighborhood when she said to turn around and go home. It had begun. You were coming … if your mom says, “It’s on!” (and you know your mom), then it’s on!
She and I went back home, and I started to set everything up. Your sister was at her dad’s, so we had the house to ourselves. It was the least complicated part of the week … just a normal, unstructured Sunday, and it looked like you might live up to your part of the bargain.
Very convenient.
GB, the midwife, came over. We put some nice music on and got some food ready for a possible long night. It was exciting! We never considered going to a hospital or doing the traditional thing. I’d heard so many stories about long labors, and problems, and pain … but your mom was just glowing. Her eyes were huge in excitement. I don’t remember if we called anybody other than the midwife, but my guess is we didn’t. We didn’t want any interruptions or anything extra coming in except for you.
At some point, I started filling up the little kiddie pool in the living room where you would enter the world. It was ready—warm and comfortable.
That’s when it started to get real.
Your mom started feeling it big time. She was breathing deep and moving around, talking to GB, and drinking water. I just felt like I was in the way. I had no idea what to do. It’s not like we rehearsed it or anything, but I pictured myself being a little more useful. Trying to keep my questions to a minimum, I mostly just observed what was going on.
Then, all of a sudden, we got into the tub, and at 7:05 p.m., you were born. It seemed like you just popped out. I mean, your mom definitely worked hard, but it all happened so fast … nothing like the 36 hours of labor I’d heard about with some moms. It started out just the two of us in the pool, then it was the three of us in there. Probably because your mom and GB were tough and knew what they were doing, but it seemed like the physical part of it wasn’t that big of a deal.
The emotional part—that was something different altogether.
I had no idea what I was in for.
A couple of guy friends told me a little of what to expect, but it ended up being so much more than that. I saw you and was overcome with an unfamiliar experience. The word “awesome” gets thrown around a lot these days, but the experience truly inspired awe. Sights and sounds were crisper, like I’d just awoken from a sound sleep. Time came to a stop. It seemed like my heart took over my whole body. I didn’t know that much love existed in the universe, and it filled me in an instant. It was as unexpected as it was wonderful.
And you weren’t that slimy at all. A little wrinkly perhaps, but clean.
The midwife did her thing, your mom did hers, and they both did it perfectly. And if my job was to do nothing, I did that quite well too. One thing I actually did do was cut the umbilical cord. It was a tough little thing, but I cut it. We saved all the stuff for your mom to do some hippie shit with … (don’t ask). But pretty soon, there you were—this purple little frog dude with what seemed like a 200-beat-per-minute heart rate on a big yellow beach towel.
Then someone said I could hold you, and for some weird reason, that surprised me. It was like I forgot I got to do that. But of course, I wanted to. And when I did, a little tremor went through my body. A strange chill, like a real physical shock, like I put my finger in a weak electrical outlet. To this day, I don’t know what that was, but it happened every time I touched you for years after that.
So. There I was holding you in my arms.
And that’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do since.
~ Brett
Ready to explore how authentic appreciation fuels breakthrough leadership, strengthens organizational culture, and drives business transformation? Share your appreciation story with us.
Fundamental of the Week #24: ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT
Work from the assumption that people are good, fair, and honest. Set aside your own judgments or preconceived notions, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Look for the positive intent in their actions and communications.
Momentum Consulting offers executive business coaching, top-level executive consulting, team training, and team off-sites to build and transform your business to the next level. Inquire about business consulting and leadership coaching today.
