Sometimes, Doing Your Best Means NOT Doing
Photo by Jonathan Chng on Unsplash
Our Fundamental of the Week is, “Always do your best.” Pretty straightforward, right? You’ve probably been hearing that since preschool: “It’s okay if it’s not perfect; just try your best.” As a concept, it doesn’t immediately invite controversy or question. But what is “your best?” How do you define it?
I have typically thought of my best as working the hardest, going the extra mile and speaking up when I have an idea. This is a part of who I am, and I may likely default to this behavior my entire life. However, it occurred to me that perhaps there were other, seemingly opposite ways for me to express my best.
When I sit back and allow others to speak first before I jump in, I am doing my best to support them. When I make room for others and listen generously, I’m not just doing my best; I’m being my best leader.
In The Fifth Agreement, don Miguel and don Jose Ruiz focus on listening generously:
People will come to you and tell you their personal story, their point of view, what they believe is ‘truth.’ But you won’t judge if it’s ‘truth’ or if it’s ‘not truth...’ Truth or fiction, you don’t have to believe anyone’s story. You don’t have to agree or disagree. Just listen.
Sometimes, when I’m busy working hard and voicing my ideas and opinions, I can forget to listen in a way that is best for others. And in doing so, I short-change myself from really taking in what they have to say as much as I short-change them from being heard.
The bottom line is doing my best isn’t really mine. What is best is usually collaborative in some way. It involves ideas from various perspectives and the hard work of multiple people for an idea to come to fruition in the best iteration possible. Projects, new products or initiatives in business function best when people don’t just put their noses down and work hard but listen to each other without judgment.
It works in our personal lives as well. The best, most fulfilling relationships come with listening generously and non-judgmentally. Not only are you giving the other person your ear and making them feel truly heard, but your psyche is also enriched by seeing from their perspective.
We all tend to fall into what we at Momentum call “default listening” -- listening through filters, our inner narrator providing a running commentary on our conversation partner’s sentences. But when we make an effort to put that aside and listen with an open heart, both people have a more fulfilling experience.
So when you hear “do your best” and think, “Yeah, yeah, I am. I am working hard and speaking up and barrelling through life,” remind yourself that sitting back and listening generously is another way of doing your best.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein
And, as always, all my best,
Fundamental #5: DO YOUR BEST
It’s essential that we always do our very best. If there is ever a question about quality, go back, stay at it until the question is removed.
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